Catch up

Sorry for such a long break but it has been crazy here. Last month I got bronchitis twice and had two rounds of the flu. I am finally better but two of my kids got the flu so it has been crazy. We had a wonderful Halloween. So here is our Halloween pics sorry they are fuzzy I had to use my cell phone. Trent was Iron Man Hunter was Bumble Bee from Transformers Lora was a Oregon ducks cheerleader.






I don't have to any from Nov so here is Dec so cute!

So I am quitting

It is the first day of no smoking....for the 1,000 time of quitting. I am going to quit but I want one sooooo bad.I can do this I really can.So yes I am out of the closet I have a addiction to cigarettes I hate them but love them all at once.I am going to try to write here so that I can get my feelings out everyday.I hope that I can do this.I have a patch on but I still want one grrrr this is so hard.If I can get through the 1st 2 weeks I am good.

Proud to be a American

So I am realizing that it is almost a year since Kimble went home to our Heavenly Father. I miss him everyday. I cannot believe that it has been almost a year.I was thinking about 9-11 and how because a few radicals decided to kill american people that it caused my brothers death. It makes me so mad that people in this world can be so awful and kill because they believe americans shouldn't have rights.This is my opinion and I wish we could just have peace and no more soldiers were killed. I love the USA and I am proud to be a american citizen. I am proud of my brother and what he gave up to keep us all safe and all the other men and women who have lost family or friends.

I love this song and this is how I feel today and everyday!

Artist: Lee Greenwood
Song: Proud To Be An American

If tomorrow all the things were gone,
I’d worked for all my life.
And I had to start again,
with just my children and my wife.

I’d thank my lucky stars,
to be livin here today.
‘ Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
and they can’t take that away.

And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

From the lakes of Minnesota,
to the hills of Tennessee.
Across the plains of Texas,
From sea to shining sea.

From Detroit down to Houston,
and New York to L.A.
Well there's pride in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say.

That I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

And I’m proud to be and American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

I love my brother so much and miss him! Thank you Kimble for giving your life to keep us free!

Stuck Like Glue...my favorite new song

This song reminds me of my hubby and me.I love it you have to listen to it if you love Country or Sugarland!


Mmm dadoo mmm dadoo mmm dadoo

Absolutely no one who knows me better
No one that can make me feel so good
How did we stay so long together?
Everybody, everybody said we never would
And just when I start to think they're right, the love has died

There you go making my heart beat again heart beat again heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid wont you do it do it one time
There you go pulling me right back in right back in right back in
And I know I'm never letting this go
I'm stuck on you
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue

Some days I don't feel like trying
Some days you know I wanna just give up
When it doesn't matter who's right, fight about it all night
Had enough you give me that look
I'm sorry baby let's make up
You do that thing that makes me laugh
And just like that

There you go making my heart beat again heart beat again heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid wont you do it do it one time
There you go pulling me right back in right back in right back in
And I know I'm never letting this go
I'm stuck on you
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue

Whoa oh whoa oh

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/stuck-like-glue-lyrics-sugarland.html ]

You almost stay out, too stuck together from the ATL
Whoa oh whoa oh
Feeling kinda sick just a spoon full of sugar make it better real quick
I say Whoa oh whoa oh whatcha gonna do with that
Whoa oh whoa oh
Come on over here with that sugar sticky sweet stuff
Come and give me that stuff, everybody want some
Melodies that get stuck up in your head
Whoa oh whoa oh up in your head
Whoa oh whoa oh up in your head
Whoa oh whoa oh up in your head
Whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you
You and me together say it's all I wanna do

I said

There you go making my heart beat again heart beat again heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid wont you do it do it one time
There you go pulling me right back in right back in right back in
And I know I'm never letting this go
I'm stuck on you
Whoa oh whoa oh
There you go making my heart beat again heart beat again heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid wont you do it do it one time
There you go pulling me right back in right back in right back in
And I know I'm never letting this go
I'm stuck on you
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue

So I such a slacker I have officially lost 17 pounds. It has been soooooo hard and I have stumbled a lot but I am doing better. I am sorry I am not a good blogger but I am going to try harder.I have 3 other blogs I am doing.

A moving experience

So as some may know I lost a baby boy in Dec of 04. It was a very trying experience and I have come to terms with a lot of things involving his death and my healing. I think tonight I finally closed one last door to his passing. I have never been to the NICU even when he was in there.I was to sick to go down and see him before they brought him to me.His passing was a bittersweet moment in my life.I know that he did something so great that he only needed to be here for 12 hrs.I am truly at peace with everything except that I have never been able to go to the place where he lived most of his short life.

My grandmother is in the same hospital that he passed on in.She was sent to the ICU on Monday and has healed quicker then anyone expect her too.I went tonight to tell her to have a safe trip home.

So I had a strong feeling I needed to go to the the NICU.I went to the information desk and asked the lady if she could help me.I told that it has been almost 6 years and that I had yet to see the NICU.She said well I am not sure they will remember you but we can try.The lady was so sweet and nice,she called down there and they said they didn't remember me but I was welcome to come and see it.I walked down there with the wonderful info lady.Once I got there they informed me that one of the nurses that was working tonight was one of the nurses that helped deliver and take care of my sweet baby.They then had me walk in the NICU.As soon as I walked in I felt the spirit so strong in there I stared to cry.They were so kind and showed me where his islet was and where they cared for him.I cried for awhile it was so overwhelming to be there but in a way very peaceful It is hard to explain it.I talked to the nurse who cared for him and she said she helped with the memory box that was made for our family.

This was such a wonderful experience I knew that Bradly was there with me in spirit.I felt so close to him tonight.I really didn't want to leave.As I left I gave the nurse a huge hug and told her thank you for being there for him when I couldn't be.I went away with this feeling that I had finally made the last few steps to closing some open wounds that I thought I had closed.

I know that loosing a child at any age is so difficult.But tonight I feel more at peace with my loss then I have ever have since the day he passed. My life was forever changed when Bradly was sent to our family.Although he was there for such a short time he made me who I am today and for the most part I am truly thankful for the life I have had because of my special angel.

The 4th of July in good old Port Orford

So for the 4th we went to our old town of Port Orford.We had such a great time.We visited and watched fireworks I love having family vacations.They seem to be so few and far between but when they happen it is great! I also took the kids to the beach(Greg didn't want to go) it was Lora's first time really going and enjoying it(except for when it got windy and threw sand in her face).Here are some pics of us during our time there.Oh and we went to a parade on the 4th and it was really cool especially when there was a car accident(no one was hurt) and they had to re adjust people so they could get the fire truck and ambulance out to where the accident was.Oh we also learned how to play Washoes I say it is a cross breed game of Horse shoes and the game where you throw bean bags into holes.It was actually a very fun game. So here are our pics from the 4th weekend.

Happy Dance!!!!

I have lost 14 pds !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited and I am going for a Jenny Craig consult tonight.YAAAAAYYYY I hope I can keep this up!

Food

Well I keep forgetting to post about my weight and health stuff.Overall things are going in a good direction.I am not doing as good as I should but I have cut most junk out.This week has been bad.I have just not been that hungry so I choose the wrong food to it.I wish I could be strong all the time about food.I also think that if I had Aunt Flo that it would be next week because I am craving Chocolate which if you know me you know I am not a huge chocolate fan.I am going to the dr tomorrow and will let you know how it goes till then have a wonderful whatever your doing!

Sad

My brother is gone...yes I know it happened in Oct but today I just miss him.It has been almost a year since I talked to him.I feel like some things between us will never be resolved until I see him again.If he was here I would tell him sorry for not staying in touch and how proud of him I am.He was such a wonderful guy.Like when he took me to my homecoming while I was pregnant.I miss him today and I am not sure why?What is different about today then any other day? Maybe I have just had a harder week and or I am finally realizing he is gone.My family has lost so much.My dad dying when I was 11 my son passing away when I was 21 and my brother when I was 26.I know that Heavenly Father only gives us what we can handle but some days I want to be mad.I hated Fathers Days for so many years till I got married.But this last Fathers Day was really hard.With Greg gone there was nothing fun about the day.I miss my brother everyday and think about him and that I can't wait to see him again.

Dang Neighbor

So this morning and guy who I don't know comes to my front door complain about my barking dog.First it isn't my dog barking the most(yes he does bark and I try to keep him from doing it).Second he was so rude to me I was very snarky back to him(yes I know I should have been nice.)Right after her left I brought our dog in.He then calls the police on me and says my neighbors and my dog bark to much.Funny thing my dog was in but the others were barking and making alot of noise.I told the officer I would make sure I would keep my dog quiet.But if the guy wants to press charges it is a 140 fine.Another thing how does he know it is my dog that does all the barking my neighbor has three dogs and there are tons of other dogs barking.How does he know it is my dog? I am just annoyed so I needed to vent about this.I am going to do my best to keep my dog in.I do feel bad for him because he loves being outside.

Good day turned to not so good

So I am totally excited my best friend just had her fourth baby.It was a long and hard pregnancy for her and she now has a beautiful baby girl.I am jealous she has two boys and two girl.

I have been sick since Saturday and this afternoon I had horrible stomach pains.I went to the dr and she thinks it is a stomach bug.But she took my blood just to be safe so we will know more tomorrow.I then was running late to get Trent to scouts.Normally we have a friend of ours take him but our signals got crossed and he left before I could get him.I then took Trent with my other two to the scout leaders house.So it has been raining all week and they live on a super steep hill and it is all gravel.Just as I get to the top I get stuck.I mean really stuck.So her hubby comes and he gets it more stuck.Long story short it took three guys to get my car out lucky there was no damage to it.

So now my two youngest are in bed I have taken a Vicodin.I am going to curl up on my couch and watch Dear John. Oh yeah I have officially lost 8 POUNDS!!!!

Great News

I went to my dr today and I have lost 5 pounds so far!!!! I am so excited,proud, happy, probably all those feelings and more.I just need to get to working out and I will be so much better.I hope by this time next year I will have lost alot more!

Food and Gilmore Girls

Ok so I am so bad at this blogging thing.I am doing very well eating the good things.I still have days when I want to veg and eat bad but they are getting few and far between.

On a other note i finally gave in and started watching my seasons of Gilmore Girls.Now if you know me I have a very special place in my heart for this show.When I was sick in the hospital and recovering this show got me through a very rough patch in my life.When it went off the air I was so sad, I vowed to not watch the show till I could forgive the people who made the show .Well I had a dream about the show(yes I am weird) and I started watching it again.It is like watching a new show all over again.I am so happy I have started watching it again! If you have never watched the show you should try it.The writing is amazing and I love how fast they talk because that is how I talk.Anyways I am done going on and on about the show.

Yesterday was not so good

So yesterday was not a good eating day.I had to get blood drawn and then I had a dentist appointment.I went over to my friends and had fun hanging out with her.I got home at 2 and realized I had eaten nothing.I kept thinking ok go eat but just kept doing other things.I had a good dinner but by 11 at night I was so hungry I ate a handful of PB M&M's man that made me feel bad so I went and ate some wheat thins and apples.I was still hungry so I ate a bunch more wheat thins.So I need to remember to eat as soon as I can.

So far so good.......

Well it has been almost a week now and I am surviving.....well almost.I thought it would be harder to give up the food I like.As each day goes by the want is less.I feel that I am not as addicted to bad food as I originally thought.The want to be alive and healthy is raging in my body more then the bad food.I just need to get the exercising bug going and then I will have it all.I always thought that I could whatever I wanted and would have no problems man was I wrong.I will someday admit what my true weight is but I am not ready to come out yet.

Food

Well yesterday I did pretty good on eating.I need to get more veggies in my diet.The only horrible thing I ate was a chocolate marshmallow egg.This whole new eating is hard especially because I am not always sure what to eat.I am supposed to go see a nutritionist at some point.I sure hope she can give me healthy tips and I can stick with it.

New change in life.

Well the Dr. took blood test and it turns out I have High Cholesterol....great just what I wanted to hear.I have to completely change my eating habits.That sucks I love bad food.But my life and being here for my hubby and kids is so more important then anything else.I can do this I am already coming off sugar and I am having horrible headaches.I want to be healthy and happy I am tired of pain and not feeling good.I am scare and I know I have to eat good to feel good.It will be a long road but I can do it.I am only 27 and shouldn't have high cholesterol or be pre diabetic.

Little Lolo has croup so we are stuck at home this weekend.I hope that the boys don't get it.But we are going to be missing out on the fun.Atleast it is General conference and we can just stay home and watch it.I am excited that my two younger sibs are coming to visit me this weekend should be fun to have them and have some help around here.

Lora's newest saying

So she was sleeping with me lately and she looks over at me and says mommy that's a hoot and laughs.Now if you say it to her she laughs a very fake laugh but it is to cute.

She also tell's me I am a mean mommy.

Also she wants me to kiss her hand and tell her your highness...silly Princess and the Pauper.

Spring break with no dad.....

Well Greg is gone now for 5 weeks.One down 4 to go I had all the kids home this last week as it was Spring Break.I almost lost it but hung in.My house is a mess and I am tired but thankful Greg has work.I miss him a ton but I can do this.This is just a new and exciting ride right.I meant to post some pics of my kids but haven't found the time.I will get it up soon till then I hope my writing will do.

Nancy Grace

So as most of you know my brother was killed in Afghan in Oct.I love the show Nancy Grace and she does a little segmant about fallen soldiers.So a month or so ago I wrote them a email and they called me.I was walking in Target and I get a call from a person who works for Nancy Grace.I was so shocked that this was happening.I will let you know when it will happen.I feel this is the best way to keep my brothers memory alive and let people know that he was a person and had a family who loved him very much and misses him.

I am trying to figure out how I am going to be super mom.I guess knowing Greg is going to be gone for weeks on end is starting to settle in. I am trying to be happy knowing we have a job but there is so much more to it all.I am in charge of everything I am ready for it but then again I am not.I am having other things going on and know it is waying on my mind. LIFE sometimes that word is so much more then just a word.I guess if I wanted to be a single mom I would have signed up that way.I will get through it it will just take time.On a happier note I am finally feeling better.....well sorta not good enough to work out but enough I can fold our mountain of laundry GO me.

Vday dance

Greg and I went to the Stake dance tonight.It was so fun and we had a wonderful time! The funny thing is that Greg who isn't a member of my church brought up the idea to go...crazy huh.He said he might even go to church with us tomorrow.....heres hoping!

Wahooo

I worked out 3 times this week.Played volleyball 2 days and then walked.It is a start but hey I am up.I realize I go through seasonal depression it sucks but as soon as Feb comes around I start feeling better.I am happy with most things right now.

Work out

Well I did it I got up and went for a walk today! Thats all....

Crazy life

Life has been so crazy I have neglected this blog big time. Greg has been looking so hard for a job and we finally decided to have him go get his Truck driving license.It will be hard to have him gone.The kids are great and doing very well. Me I am working on stuff one of these days I am going to get my big booty in action and loose this weight.I am struggling with this a lot and wish it would just go away.I know how it got here but wish it wasn't there.

Crying for me

So there is a toby Keith song that is on the radio it is truly one of my favorite songs.The song has such a beautiful background music.The first time I heard it,it reminded me of my brother and how I felt about him.Here are the lyrics

“Sorry you missed me
I’ll get back with you as soon as I can
Thank you and god bless”

Got the news on Friday mornin’
But a tear I couldn’t find
You showed me how I’m supposed to live
And now you showed me how to die
I was lost till Sunday mornin’
I woke up to face my fear
While I’m writing you this goodbye song
I found a tear

I’m gonna miss that smile
I’m gonna miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
I’d do it all again
So play it sweet in heaven
‘Cause that’s right where you wana be
I’m not crying because I feel so sorry for you
I’m crying for me

I got up and dialed your number
And your voice came on the line
That old familiar message
I heard a thousand times it just said
Sorry that I missed you
Leave a message and god bless
I know you think I’m crazy
But I had to hear your voice again

I’m gonna miss that smile
I’m gonna miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
I’d do it all again
So play it sweet in heaven
‘Cause that’s right where you wana be
I’m not crying because I feel so sorry for you
I’m crying for me

So play your upside-down, left handed
Backwards base guitar
And I’ll see you on the other side
Superstar

I’m gonna miss that smile
I’m gonna miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
I’d do it all again
So play it sweet in heaven
‘Cause that’s right where you wana be
I’m not crying because I feel so sorry for you
I’m crying for me

I’m still crying
I’m crying for me
I’m still crying