So I am quitting

It is the first day of no smoking....for the 1,000 time of quitting. I am going to quit but I want one sooooo bad.I can do this I really can.So yes I am out of the closet I have a addiction to cigarettes I hate them but love them all at once.I am going to try to write here so that I can get my feelings out everyday.I hope that I can do this.I have a patch on but I still want one grrrr this is so hard.If I can get through the 1st 2 weeks I am good.

Proud to be a American

So I am realizing that it is almost a year since Kimble went home to our Heavenly Father. I miss him everyday. I cannot believe that it has been almost a year.I was thinking about 9-11 and how because a few radicals decided to kill american people that it caused my brothers death. It makes me so mad that people in this world can be so awful and kill because they believe americans shouldn't have rights.This is my opinion and I wish we could just have peace and no more soldiers were killed. I love the USA and I am proud to be a american citizen. I am proud of my brother and what he gave up to keep us all safe and all the other men and women who have lost family or friends.

I love this song and this is how I feel today and everyday!

Artist: Lee Greenwood
Song: Proud To Be An American

If tomorrow all the things were gone,
I’d worked for all my life.
And I had to start again,
with just my children and my wife.

I’d thank my lucky stars,
to be livin here today.
‘ Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
and they can’t take that away.

And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

From the lakes of Minnesota,
to the hills of Tennessee.
Across the plains of Texas,
From sea to shining sea.

From Detroit down to Houston,
and New York to L.A.
Well there's pride in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say.

That I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

And I’m proud to be and American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

I love my brother so much and miss him! Thank you Kimble for giving your life to keep us free!

Stuck Like Glue...my favorite new song

This song reminds me of my hubby and me.I love it you have to listen to it if you love Country or Sugarland!


Mmm dadoo mmm dadoo mmm dadoo

Absolutely no one who knows me better
No one that can make me feel so good
How did we stay so long together?
Everybody, everybody said we never would
And just when I start to think they're right, the love has died

There you go making my heart beat again heart beat again heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid wont you do it do it one time
There you go pulling me right back in right back in right back in
And I know I'm never letting this go
I'm stuck on you
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue

Some days I don't feel like trying
Some days you know I wanna just give up
When it doesn't matter who's right, fight about it all night
Had enough you give me that look
I'm sorry baby let's make up
You do that thing that makes me laugh
And just like that

There you go making my heart beat again heart beat again heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid wont you do it do it one time
There you go pulling me right back in right back in right back in
And I know I'm never letting this go
I'm stuck on you
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue

Whoa oh whoa oh

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/stuck-like-glue-lyrics-sugarland.html ]

You almost stay out, too stuck together from the ATL
Whoa oh whoa oh
Feeling kinda sick just a spoon full of sugar make it better real quick
I say Whoa oh whoa oh whatcha gonna do with that
Whoa oh whoa oh
Come on over here with that sugar sticky sweet stuff
Come and give me that stuff, everybody want some
Melodies that get stuck up in your head
Whoa oh whoa oh up in your head
Whoa oh whoa oh up in your head
Whoa oh whoa oh up in your head
Whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you
You and me together say it's all I wanna do

I said

There you go making my heart beat again heart beat again heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid wont you do it do it one time
There you go pulling me right back in right back in right back in
And I know I'm never letting this go
I'm stuck on you
Whoa oh whoa oh
There you go making my heart beat again heart beat again heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid wont you do it do it one time
There you go pulling me right back in right back in right back in
And I know I'm never letting this go
I'm stuck on you
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue
Whoa oh whoa oh
Stuck like glue you and me baby were stuck like glue

So I such a slacker I have officially lost 17 pounds. It has been soooooo hard and I have stumbled a lot but I am doing better. I am sorry I am not a good blogger but I am going to try harder.I have 3 other blogs I am doing.

A moving experience

So as some may know I lost a baby boy in Dec of 04. It was a very trying experience and I have come to terms with a lot of things involving his death and my healing. I think tonight I finally closed one last door to his passing. I have never been to the NICU even when he was in there.I was to sick to go down and see him before they brought him to me.His passing was a bittersweet moment in my life.I know that he did something so great that he only needed to be here for 12 hrs.I am truly at peace with everything except that I have never been able to go to the place where he lived most of his short life.

My grandmother is in the same hospital that he passed on in.She was sent to the ICU on Monday and has healed quicker then anyone expect her too.I went tonight to tell her to have a safe trip home.

So I had a strong feeling I needed to go to the the NICU.I went to the information desk and asked the lady if she could help me.I told that it has been almost 6 years and that I had yet to see the NICU.She said well I am not sure they will remember you but we can try.The lady was so sweet and nice,she called down there and they said they didn't remember me but I was welcome to come and see it.I walked down there with the wonderful info lady.Once I got there they informed me that one of the nurses that was working tonight was one of the nurses that helped deliver and take care of my sweet baby.They then had me walk in the NICU.As soon as I walked in I felt the spirit so strong in there I stared to cry.They were so kind and showed me where his islet was and where they cared for him.I cried for awhile it was so overwhelming to be there but in a way very peaceful It is hard to explain it.I talked to the nurse who cared for him and she said she helped with the memory box that was made for our family.

This was such a wonderful experience I knew that Bradly was there with me in spirit.I felt so close to him tonight.I really didn't want to leave.As I left I gave the nurse a huge hug and told her thank you for being there for him when I couldn't be.I went away with this feeling that I had finally made the last few steps to closing some open wounds that I thought I had closed.

I know that loosing a child at any age is so difficult.But tonight I feel more at peace with my loss then I have ever have since the day he passed. My life was forever changed when Bradly was sent to our family.Although he was there for such a short time he made me who I am today and for the most part I am truly thankful for the life I have had because of my special angel.

The 4th of July in good old Port Orford

So for the 4th we went to our old town of Port Orford.We had such a great time.We visited and watched fireworks I love having family vacations.They seem to be so few and far between but when they happen it is great! I also took the kids to the beach(Greg didn't want to go) it was Lora's first time really going and enjoying it(except for when it got windy and threw sand in her face).Here are some pics of us during our time there.Oh and we went to a parade on the 4th and it was really cool especially when there was a car accident(no one was hurt) and they had to re adjust people so they could get the fire truck and ambulance out to where the accident was.Oh we also learned how to play Washoes I say it is a cross breed game of Horse shoes and the game where you throw bean bags into holes.It was actually a very fun game. So here are our pics from the 4th weekend.

Happy Dance!!!!

I have lost 14 pds !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited and I am going for a Jenny Craig consult tonight.YAAAAAYYYY I hope I can keep this up!